Gross. All my songs seem to be about heartbreak, either mine or the other person. I'm on an exploration of finding myself fully this summer/into fall, and would like to not have the feeling of heartbreak for a verrry verrry long time or ever again preferably. I got my lip pierced today. My parents hate me at the moment, but after the initial shock of it my mom came upstairs and told me she loved me no matter what and all that mattered was that I was happy. I am happy. I typically live to make others happy, even when I'm working it is all about pleasing others. I have felt many times that others dont care enough to want me to be happy as well and I shut myself out of peoples' lives or push them away, but at this point in my life I know I am surrounded with people that are more supportive than any that I have ever surrounded myself with before.

It's sad to me that someone that I viewed as such a prominent part of my life for such a long time I have discovered repeatedly lied to me the entire time I knew them, over and over and over again. I never knew, and even though I had a falling out with this person a while back I am broken heartened all over again now that I have been told the truth, and it has been bothering me for a while. I think it is cowardly to lie to someone for so long. I am no saint I have definitely done it, but it always turns out badly. I dont wish revenge or karma on this person, (ok, maybe a little) mostly I wish they were bold enough to tell me the truth, not others who tell me, the person themselves. I think if this were to happen I could forgive and move on. I highly doubt this will ever happen, so I will always have only bad memories of them, never any good and that is sad.

I am so happy that I have people I know I can turn to, this has not been an easy time in my life, and does not look to be getting any easier any time soon. It is the best feeling in the world knowing if you fall, at least a dozen or more will be there to catch you.